machetiquette

I told him to step back. He kept coming. I gave him a warning. He got a face full of blade.

She said, 'I’ll let you live if you apologize.' He said, 'I don’t know how to apologize.' I said, 'You just did.'

The guy was screaming about his grandma. I said, 'Your grandma’s dead. Let’s stop this.'

He said, 'I’d like to settle this like civilized people.' I said, 'You’re not civilized. You’re a mess.'

I offered him a chance to run. He said, 'I don’t run from nobody.' I said, 'You just did.'

She asked if I wanted tea. I said, 'No. I want your throat.'

He said, 'I’ll let you go if you say please.' I said, 'Please.' He said, 'Nope.'

She asked if I was a nice guy. I said, 'I’m a very nice guy. With a very mean blade.'

He tried to charm me with a smile. I cut it off.

He said, 'You can cut me, but you won’t cut my pride.' I said, 'Your pride’s gone. You’re just a bloody mess.'

She asked if I was going to kill her. I said, 'No. I’m just going to annoy you for the rest of your life.'

He said, 'I don’t fear you.' I said, 'You should.'

He said, 'I could kill you in five ways.' I said, 'I could kill you in one.'

She asked if I had a plan. I said, 'I have a blade. That’s my plan.'

He said, 'You’re not fancy.' I said, 'I’m very fancy. And I’m about to be very messy.'