macgyverwipe

Fresh

0 views · Added 2h ago · 3 definitions

1
When you’re in the middle of a poop and realize you’ve got no toilet paper and you’re forced to use whatever is near you, even if it smells like old socks and your cousin’s gym bag.
I was mid-squat and realized I had no TP. I used my mom’s hair tie. It was like a horror movie.
My brother tried to wipe with a napkin. It was soaked in ketchup. I laughed until I cried.
I had to use a paper towel. It was the last one. I felt like a warrior who just lost his sword.
2
When you’re about to finish a big dump and then you see no toilet paper and you have to use whatever you can find, even if it’s a half-eaten sandwich.
I was about to leave the bathroom and saw no TP. I used my lunch. It was a cheese sandwich. My pants stank for days.
I had to wipe with a tissue. It was the only one left. I felt like I had to pay for the tissue.
I used my shirt. It was white. Now it’s stained and I look like a raccoon.
3
When you’re on the toilet and you’re like, ‘Oh no,’ because you have no toilet paper and you have to use whatever is closest, even if it’s your own face.
I had no TP and I used my hand. It was like I was cleaning my own ass with my own hand. It was gross.
I used my face. I felt like I had a rash. I looked like a monster.
I had to use my dad’s sock. It was dirty and smelled like old pizza.
xs