Macgordon

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A real-life monster who acts like a nice kid until you mess with their friends. Then they turn into a f***ing tornado of rage.

He was fine until I called his dog a fat sock. Now he’s chasing me down the hallway like a lunatic.

She smiled at me until her friend said I had bad hair. Then she screamed and threw a chair.

He was the nicest guy until his buddy got roasted. Now he’s trying to beat me up in the lunchroom.

Looks like a doofus but hides a mean streak like a f***ing dragon in a candy store.

He was eating candy and laughing, then I said his mom was fat and he exploded like a piñata.

She was drawing a cat, then I said her brother was ugly and she hit me with a pencil.

He was just sitting there, then I said his dog was a blob and he yelled, 'You’re gonna regret that!'

A kid who’s all sweet and stuff, but if you f*** with them, they turn into a f***ing war machine.

He gave me a cookie, then I said his mom was a pig and he came at me like a tank.

She was nice until I called her a blob and then she threw her juice box at my face.

He was the best friend ever, until I said his pet goldfish was a f***ing blob and he ran at me screaming.