Macau friend

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A Macau friend is someone who acts like they're your bestie but constantly bitches about everything you do.

My Macau friend called me at 3 AM to complain about my Spotify playlist.

She sent me a text saying, 'You’re the worst. I hate your life.'

She showed up uninvited to my party and said, 'This is the worst party ever.'

A Macau friend is like a tiny, loud, foul-mouthed kid who won’t stop yelling at you.

She yelled at me through a Zoom call because I forgot her birthday.

She texted me, 'You’re the worst! I’m gonna die of embarrassment.'

She showed up at my house and screamed, 'You’re the worst friend ever!'

A Macau friend is the kind of person who gives you a compliment but then says something so rude it cancels the whole thing.

She said, 'You look good,' then added, 'But your hair looks like a mess.'

She told me, 'You’re the best,' then said, 'But I hate your choices.'

She said, 'You’re a good friend,' then yelled, 'But I’m the best one!'