Maatus
The worst, most annoying person I've ever met. He's straight but he's got a V-shaped tapir and he rizzed up Osama bin Laden so hard, he hit him harder than the planes hit the towers.
'Maatu is like a monster with a tapir and a V.' 'No, he's a monster with a V-shaped tapir.'
He said Maatu was in 9/11. I said, 'You mean he was there? He was there? He was in 9/11? He was in 9/11? That's not possible!'
He told me Maatu was so cool, aliens from space married him.