ma-jake

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a magical ability where you pretend to have powers just because you’re named Jake and people think you’re cool.

Jake told me he could make my math test pass by whispering to my pencil. It worked. I failed. He laughed.

My mom said Jake could talk to ghosts. I asked him to summon my lost sock. He said it was busy.

Jake told me he could control the weather. It rained for three days. I got wet. He got a tan.

when you act like you can do cool things just because you’re named Jake and no one questions it.

Jake said he could beat up the school principal. He challenged him. The principal took one look and left.

Jake told me he could make my lunch taste like gold. I ate it. It tasted like expired pizza.

Jake said he could fly. He jumped off the roof. He landed like a sack of bricks.

the art of making people believe you’re a wizard just because your name is Jake and you look at them funny.

Jake stared at my math test and said it would fail. It did. I didn’t know why.

Jake said he could bring my dead goldfish back to life. I believed him. He lied.

Jake looked at my lunch and said it was cursed. I threw it away. It was just chicken.

when you’re named Jake and people think you’re magical even if you’re just lucky.

Jake said he could make my brother cry. He did. My brother cried. I laughed.

Jake told me he could make my dog dance. My dog sat. I was confused.

Jake said he could make my teacher fall asleep. My teacher did. I took a nap too.

the power to seem like a wizard just because you’re named Jake and you say weird stuff.

Jake said the clouds were talking to him. I asked him what they said. He said, 'Your lunch is sad.'

Jake told me he could time travel. He went back to yesterday. He came back with a sandwich.

Jake said he could make my sister disappear. She ran out of the room. He was proud.