m&a

Fresh

#corporate warfare #rich people problems #spreadsheet drama

0 views · Added 17h ago · 7 definitions

The fancy name for when rich people try to take over other rich people’s businesses, like they’re playing a really expensive game of checkers with billions of dollars.

Bro, M&A is just rich guys arguing over a spreadsheet like it’s the last goddamn pizza slice.

My boss says M&A is the only thing that keeps him from crying in his coffee.

I did M&A for 10 years and I still don’t know what the hell I was doing.

by Slangipedia 17h ago

The job for the biggest jerks in the world who think they’re important just because they write contracts and get yelled at by people who think they’re even more important.

M&A is for people who think they’re the main character of a movie, but it’s actually just a really long sequel.

My M&A job is like being stuck in a time machine with a bunch of people who have no idea what time it is.

M&A is like being stuck in a meeting for eight hours and then realizing you didn’t learn anything new.

by Slangipedia 17h ago

What a guy does in prison when he’s too lazy to get out of bed and too proud to ask for help. It’s like doing a solo dance to a really bad song.

M&A is just a guy in a cell doing the horizontal shuffle to the sound of his own sighs.

In prison, M&A is the only thing keeping a guy from going full 'I’m not crying, I’m just doing the horizontal shuffle.'

That guy in the corner doing M&A looks like he’s trying to remember his own name.

by Slangipedia 17h ago

Catholic version of animal sex. It’s like the church decided to take the fun out of everything and put it in a really fancy church.

Meet, Mary, and mate is just the church’s version of a really awkward first date.

Mary must’ve been the one who said, 'I don’t like the way this is going.'

Mate is just the guy who finally said, 'I give up.'

by Slangipedia 17h ago

A candy that looks like a smiley face and is really good for people who like to pretend they’re in a band even though they can’t play an instrument.

M&M is just a rock star who forgot to bring a guitar and decided to eat instead.

I eat M&M like they’re confetti at a rock concert.

M&M is the only thing that keeps me from crying during a really bad gig.

by Slangipedia 17h ago

A smiley face that screams 'I’m rockin’ out!' even though the guy doing the headbanging is just really angry.

That emotioncon is just the guy who got yelled at by his bandmates and decided to scream into a microphone.

I use that emotioncon when I’m trying to pretend I’m in a band and not just really angry.

That emotioncon is like the guy who took a break from being a rock star to be a really angry person.

by Slangipedia 17h ago

Yummy circular chocolates that taste like happiness and are the reason we all still live in this world instead of being ninjas.

Those M&M are just the reason I’m not a ninja right now.

I eat M&M like they’re the last goddamn candy left in the world.

Those M&M are like the reason I still have a job instead of being a ninja.

by Slangipedia 17h ago