L.B.F.F.E.

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The kind of friend who fails at everything but still hangs around you like you're the cool one.

You: 'I got a B+'; Them: 'I got a D- and I'm still better than you.'

At the mall: You try on a shirt. Them: 'That looks like a napkin.'

You win a game. Them: 'That was luck.'

A friend who’s so bad at life it’s almost admirable, and you can’t quit them because they’re your only hope.

You: 'I got a job.' Them: 'I still haven’t found a job, but I found a new couch.'

You: 'I’m going to the party.' Them: 'I’m going to the couch.'

You get a promotion. Them: 'I got a new snack.'

The kind of friend who thinks they're your best friend, but they’re just your worst enemy in disguise.

You: 'I’m going to college.' Them: 'I’m going to sleep.'

You get a scholarship. Them: 'I got a coupon.'

You: 'I’m rich.' Them: 'I’m still poor, but at least I got free pizza.'