Lahey Scale
How wasted you are from 1 to 10. Jim Lahey once tried to eat a whole pizza and got kicked out of a restaurant.
I'm at a 10. I can't walk, I can't talk, and I just tried to eat a shoe.
At a 6. I can still laugh, but I laughed at a bagel and it got jealous.
I'm at a 4. I can walk, but I walked into a door and called it a friend.