Lagranus - A fancy way of saying your butt is leaking and itches like a

A fancy way of saying your butt is leaking and itches like a million ants are biting your ass.

My cousin has Lagranus and it's like his butt is on fire and full of ants.

I can't sit down because of Lagranus. It's the worst.

My boss has Lagranus and it's making the whole office stink.