lagomorph

A tiny, rage-filled, bunny-shaped monster that screams at you when you try to eat breakfast; the reason your boss is always late; what happens when a badger and a rabbit have a screaming match in a parking lot

A creature so obsessed with hopping that it forgets how to walk; the reason your gym class is always late; what your mom says when she doesn't want to do the dishes

A word so tiny and specific that it's only used when people are too lazy to say 'rabbit'; the reason you have to scroll through 1000 pictures of bunnies before you find one that's actually cute; what your teacher says when you're the only one who didn't do the homework

A human who eats too much and then lets everyone else do the work; the reason your office is always late; what your dad becomes when he gets a promotion and forgets how to cook

A thing that's almost a rodent but not quite; the reason you're confused at the pet store; what your science teacher says when he doesn't know what it is