Lagabalt

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2 views · Added 9d ago · 5 definitions

1
A human, spot, or object that moves like a sloth on a meth binge.
My grandma’s wi-fi is Lagabalt. It takes longer to load a cat video than it does for her to forget she’s watching it.
This traffic jam is Lagabalt. I've been stuck behind a turtle on a skateboard.
Your response time is Lagabalt. I’ve sent you ten messages and you’ve replied with a single grumble.
2
Something that takes forever, like a toddler trying to tie their shoes with a rope.
This game is Lagabalt. I’ve been waiting for my turn for so long I’ve started to question my life choices.
My mom’s cooking is Lagabalt. It took her twenty minutes to boil an egg.
That customer service line is Lagabalt. I’ve been waiting so long I could’ve learned to speak fluent sloth.
3
A thing or person who takes as long as a snail on a coffee break.
Your internet is Lagabalt. It took longer to load this page than it did for me to finish my breakfast.
This elevator is Lagabalt. I’ve been waiting so long I’ve started to believe it’s haunted.
Your brain is Lagabalt. It took you five minutes to figure out how to open a soda can.
4
Someone or something that moves like a zombie with a broken leg and a GPS.
Your reaction time is Lagabalt. I’ve been talking for ten minutes and you’re just now noticing me.
This class is Lagabalt. We’ve been sitting here for an hour and the teacher still hasn’t showed up.
That delivery is Lagabalt. It took them three days to bring me a pizza.
5
A person, place, or thing that takes forever, like a broken clock trying to tell a joke.
This app is Lagabalt. It took me longer to open it than it did to finish my coffee.
Your brain is Lagabalt. It took you ten minutes to decide what to eat for breakfast.
This meeting is Lagabalt. I’ve been here for an hour and we still haven’t talked about anything important.
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