Laerta
She's like a teacher who also invented the wheel and still has time to eat pizza. She'll save your ass, but she'll also call you out when you're being a lazy piece of trash.
She gave me an A+ even though I turned in a paper that was mostly drawings of cats.
She told my friend he was being a total idiot for skipping class.
She showed up at my house with pizza and a lecture about my bad grades.