Laefer
Laefer is a guy with a heart the size of a trash can. He feels your pain like it’s his own. He talks nonstop about anything and everything, even if you’re not listening. He’s the kind of person who’ll try to sell you a lifetime supply of glitter just so you’ll be happy.
Laefer: 'You look like you’ve been crying! Let me fix that with 10 different flavors of ice cream!'
Laefer: 'I’ll explain quantum physics to you while you’re still eating lunch.'
Laefer: 'You don’t need that shirt. You need a full suit. And a pet iguana.'