Lady Retarded

I tried to flirt with her, but I kept saying stupid stuff like 'you're hot, but I'm hotter.' She just walked away.

He tried to impress the girl by telling her he could do 10 push-ups. He did one and passed out.

I asked her out, and then I said I only like girls with big feet. She told me to go to hell.

I told her I was a ninja. She asked if I could sneak into her pants. I said yes, and she laughed at me.

He tried to impress a girl by telling her he could eat a whole pizza. He ate it, but it came out of his nose.

I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend. She said no, and then I asked why. She said because you're an idiot.

He tried to be cool by wearing sunglasses at night. He looked like a total dork.

I tried to impress her by telling her I could beat up a bear. She asked if I could beat up her brother. I said no.

He asked her out, and then he said he only liked girls who could sing. She sang, and he ran away.

I told her I was a superhero. She asked if I could fly. I said no, but I could fly in my pants. She left.

He told the girl he could win a race. He lost, and he cried.

I asked her out, and then I said I only liked girls who had green hair. She told me to go to hell.

He told the girl he could read minds. She asked what he thought about her. He said 'you're ugly.' She slapped him.

I tried to be cool by saying I was the king of the world. She asked if I had a crown. I said no, but I had a hat. She laughed.

He asked her out, and then he said he only liked girls who could dance. She danced, and he fell asleep.