Lady Mushroom - This mushroom is like a f***ing beast. You can eat it, hit i

This mushroom is like a f***ing beast. You can eat it, hit it, kiss it, spit on it, and it won’t die. It might just get even more annoying.

I bit it and it bit back. I got a mouth full of mushroom.

I threw a fork at it and it just stared at me like I was a moron.

I kissed it and it just smiled. I think it's flirting with me.