Ladder in my tights
A 'ladder in your tights' is when your boner is so big, it’s like a ladder stuck in a pair of pants. It’s fighting for freedom and it’s not afraid to make a mess.
My ladder in my tights was so big, it was causing a traffic jam in my trousers.
She had a ladder in her tights that was loud enough to wake up the whole neighborhood.
He had a ladder in his tights so bad, it was like a concert in his pants.