Ladarius

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A hotshot who laughs at your jokes but roasts you in the morning. He’s got dreams of being rich and famous, but he still forgets to pay his rent.

Ladarius laughed at my joke about his dog, but then called me a ‘disaster’ when I spilled coffee on him.

He said he’d be rich by 25, but he still eats cereal for dinner.

He roasts me every morning, but I still let him borrow my phone.

He’s the sweetest guy you’ll ever meet, but he’ll also make you cry because he’s too good for you and won’t stop flirting with your sister.

He told me I was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen, then flirted with my sister in front of me.

He cried when I broke up with him, but he still asked my sister out the next day.

He said he’d marry me, but he still calls my sister ‘the real deal’.

He’s the best guy you could ever date, but he’s also the reason your phone is broken, your dog is missing, and your mom is worried.

He broke my phone trying to prove he was stronger than me.

He took my dog for a ‘walk’ and never came back.

He told my mom I was ‘a mess’ and she believed him.

A guy who thinks he’s funny, but no one laughs. He tries to be cool, but he still wears socks with sandals and talks to his dog.

He told a joke about his dog, and no one laughed. Even the dog rolled its eyes.

He wears socks with sandals and thinks it’s ‘fashion.’

He talks to his dog like it’s his best friend, and it just stares at him.

A sexy black guy who will make your pants wet and your heart break all at the same time.

He walked by me and I immediately got a leak.

He smiled at me and I forgot my name.

He winked at me and I cried in the bathroom.

A color that’s so ugly it makes your teeth hurt and your brain go numb.

I saw purple and I screamed because it was so bad.

Purple is like a bad day, but worse.

My brain turned to mush when I looked at purple.