'What’s the plan?' 'We win.' 'That’s it? We win? That’s your whole plan?'
'Do you want coffee?' 'No.' 'Okay, then why did you ask?' 'I don’t know.'
2
Lacon comes from the land of Sparta, where people talk like they’re being tortured and don’t want to suffer any longer.
'Why are you crying?' 'Because.' 'That’s it? Because?' 'Yes.'
'What’s the problem?' 'It’s raining.' 'That’s it? It’s raining? What’s so bad about that?'
'Do you like pizza?' 'No.' 'Okay, then why did you bring it?' 'I don’t know.'
3
A laconic person is someone who talks like they’re in a hurry and have no idea what they’re saying.
'What’s wrong?' 'Nothing.' 'Nothing? That’s your answer? What’s wrong?' 'Nothing.'
'What’s the deal?' 'I’m tired.' 'That’s it? You’re tired? That’s your whole deal?'
'Do you want to go?' 'No.' 'Okay, then why did you ask?' 'I don’t know.'
4
Lacon is like being short and to the point, but it’s also like being Turse, but even more basic.
'What’s the deal?' 'I don’t know.' 'That’s it? You don’t know? What’s the deal?' 'I don’t know.'
'Why are you mad?' 'I’m not.' 'That’s it? You’re not mad? That’s your answer?'
'What’s the problem?' 'No problem.' 'That’s it? No problem? That’s your answer?'
5
A Liam lacon is a skinny, weak kid who breaks stuff and wears stupid clothes like he’s in a bad movie.
'Why did you break the lamp?' 'Because.' 'That’s it? You broke the lamp because?' 'Because.'
'Why are you wearing a leather jacket?' 'I don’t know.' 'That’s it? You don’t know why you’re wearing a leather jacket?' 'No.'
'Why did you break the table?' 'I felt like it.' 'That’s it? You felt like it?' 'Yes.'
6
Lacon is when you talk way too much, like you’re trying to fill a room with your words and no one wants to hear it.
'I went to the store, and I saw a dog, and the dog was wearing a hat, and the hat was red, and I said hi to the dog, and the dog said hi back, and then I came home, and I told my mom, and my mom said, and then I said, and then I said, and then I said, and then I said.'
'I went to the park, and I saw a bird, and the bird was flying, and the bird was flying high, and the bird was flying low, and the bird was flying fast, and the bird was flying slow, and the bird was flying high again, and then I came home, and I told my mom, and my mom said, and then I said, and then I said, and then I said, and then I said.'
'I went to the store, and I saw a cat, and the cat was on the roof, and the cat was on the roof for a long time, and the cat was on the roof for a short time, and the cat was on the roof for a medium time, and the cat was on the roof for a very short time, and then I came home, and I told my mom, and my mom said, and then I said, and then I said, and then I said, and then I said.'
7
Lacon is when you’re covered in jizz like you’re in a lake and you’re being drowned by a bunch of guys.
'Why are you covered in jizz?' 'Because I was in a lake of jizz.' 'That’s it? You were in a lake of jizz?' 'Yes.'
'What happened to you?' 'I was in a lake of jizz.' 'That’s it? You were in a lake of jizz?' 'Yes.'
'Why are you wet?' 'Because I was in a lake of jizz.' 'That’s it? You were in a lake of jizz?' 'Yes.'