lackellect
Lackellect means you can’t tell the difference between a metaphor and a bad relationship. You need someone to explain it to you like you’re five and also have a headache.
'Why is the sun like a giant tomato? I thought it was a pizza.'
'The metaphor is broken. Fix it. I can’t handle broken things.'
'You said ‘life is a rollercoaster’ and now I’m crying in the snack bar.'