Laars
If you're named Laars, you’re either the king of the jungle or the guy who got left behind when the jungle left.
My dog got named Laars because he chased a goat halfway across the street.
My friend’s brother is named Laars and he once beat up a chicken for looking at him wrong.
My dad says Laars is the only name that makes your enemies run away and your friends want to die.