La Loma del Orto

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A place so far out in the boonies it’s like being stuck between two poops in a kiddie pool.

My cousin got stuck in La Loma del Orto and had to hitchhike with a goat.

I told my mom I was going to La Loma del Orto, and she threw a shoe at me.

The only thing closer to La Loma del Orto is the edge of the universe and a bad decision.

It’s like the middle of the Sahara, but with more cows and fewer chances of survival.

I tried to visit La Loma del Orto, but I got lost and ended up in a cornfield.

My dog ran away to La Loma del Orto and came back with a dead chicken.

I got stuck in La Loma del Orto and had to eat my own sock for dinner.

A place so empty it could make a vacuum cry and a ghost feel lonely.

My friend went to La Loma del Orto and came back with a sunburn and a grudge.

I texted my brother, 'I’m in La Loma del Orto, and I think I just saw a ghost.' He replied, 'You must be high.'

I got stuck in La Loma del Orto and had to yell at a cow to get out.