You said she was a gold-digging, two-faced bimbo who’d cheat on you in the first week of your engagement. She was at the wedding. You were the one who walked out with the best man.

He said she was a dumb, fat cow who'd rather eat a whole pizza than talk to him. She was eating the pizza. He was the one who got the cheese stuck in his teeth.

She called him a low-life, washed-up, balding, loser who couldn't even pay rent. He was sitting there with a pizza box and a $5 bill.