La Croixing
It’s like the methadone of soda addicts, but it’s just sparkling water with a hint of fruit that nobody can pronounce and smells like regret.
I need my La Croix. It’s like my methadone, but it tastes like regret.
This La Croix is the methadone of the soda world. It’s like my salvation.
I’m gonna die without my La Croix. It’s my methadone, my salvation, my regret.