kal
A kal is the best person you've ever met. He's obsessed with cookies, promises you stuff, and won't stop bugging you until you give it to him. He's got a laugh that's as dry as a desert and is basically a superhero.
"I swear I'll bring you cookies if you stop messaging me at 2 a. m.", Kal, 3 a. m.
"You said you'd bring me pizza. You said it. I'm not moving until you do.", Kal, 10 seconds later.
"I'm not a best friend. I'm a kal. And I'm not done bugging you.", Kal, in a group chat at midnight.