kaimani

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A kaimani is a brain-dead, barely breathing, barely living piece of garbage that thinks they’re the main event.

My cousin is a kaimani. She thinks she’s a genius because she can spell 'kaimani' backwards.

My boss is a kaimani. He tried to explain quantum physics to my dog.

My ex is a kaimani. He thought he was funny when he said, 'I’m not dumb, I’m just creative.'

Kaimani is a fake Hawaiian word used by a real-life genius who’s too lazy to say anything smart. They’re the reason the planet still spins.

My friend is a kaimani. She said, 'I’m not ugly, I’m just stylish.'

My neighbor is a kaimani. He thinks he’s a philosopher because he says, 'Life is like a cupcake.'

My teacher is a kaimani. She gave me an A because she forgot my name.