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Kailana M. is the best girlfriend ever. She’s like a pizza with extra cheese and hot sauce, you can’t get enough of her. She loves you so much it’s annoying, and you’d die if she left you.
She texted me at 2 a. m. just to say she loves me. I was mad but then I cried.
I tried to ignore her, but she kept sending me cat videos. I gave up.
She showed up at my house with pizza and a note that said, 'Don’t you dare forget me.'