Kaidense
A person who's too busy doing nothing to help anyone, but somehow still manages to be there when it counts, and still takes the last donut.
My friend is a Kaidense. He says he's too tired but still shows up when I need him.
My mom's best friend is a Kaidense. She doesn't care but still helps me when I'm in trouble.
My brother's friend is a Kaidense. He's always on his phone but still shows up to my birthday party.