Kai Roberts

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A tiny human who starts fights like it's their full-time job. They usually hang out where the cops don't bother to show up.

Kai saw me and said, 'You look like a punch waiting to happen.' I said, 'You look like a punch that missed.'

He started a fight in the grocery store over the last pack of gum.

Kai texted me, 'I'm coming to your house. Bring snacks or I'll burn it down.'

A short guy who can turn a simple conversation into a full-blown shouting match. They live in places with more trash than people.

At the bus stop, Kai yelled, 'You're the worst friend ever!' Just because I didn't text him back.

He started a fight with a dog and lost. Still called it a win.

Kai messaged me, 'I'll be there in 5 minutes. If I'm not, you're dead.'

A little person who loves arguing so much, they probably got into a fight with their mom before breakfast. They live in the worst part of town.

Kai walked into the pizza place and said, 'This pizza is the worst I've ever had.' The owner said, 'You're not even here.'

He got into a fight over a single soda can. It lasted 10 minutes.

Kai called me and said, 'I'm coming to your house. Bring your whole family.'