kai-pule
Kai-pule is like getting massaged by a angry god who also has a bad case of the flu and is covered in seaweed. It’s like Reiki but with more swearing and less chill.
My back felt like it was being cursed by a sea monster. Kai-pule or die trying.
I came in with a headache. I left with a headache and a side of divine wrath.
That massage felt like my soul was being scrubbed with sand and salt.