kai lan

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Kai Lan is Chinese broccoli. Also the name of a girl on a kids show that teaches Chinese. Her parents were probably high when they named her that. Broccoli? Really?

"Why would anyone name their kid broccoli?", My cousin after watching Kai Lan for the first time

"Broccoli? That’s the worst name ever.", My mom

"Broccoli? I’m gonna call her broccoli from now on.", Me, at 7 years old

by Slangipedia 1d ago

Kai Lan is like Dora, but she’s Chinese and tries to teach kids Chinese. It’s confusing, annoying, and why does she look like she’s about to cry every time she says a word?

"Kai Lan is the worst. Dora was better.", My friend at recess

"Why does she sound like she’s about to cry?", Me, during a lesson

"Kai Lan is like Dora, but worse.", My brother, who hates everything

by Slangipedia 1d ago

Kai Lan is a girl who’s nice and makes people feel good. But she’s also the reason I learned Chinese and now I hate my life.

"Kai Lan is the best, but she made me learn Chinese.", Me, during a test

"She’s nice, but I hate her.", My friend, who also hates Chinese

"I don’t want to speak Chinese because of her.", My mom, who also hates Chinese

by Slangipedia 1d ago

Kai Lan is a distant relative of all Chinese people. Like, she’s the ancestor of every Chinese kid who ever had to learn Chinese on a kids show.

"She’s like the grandma of all Chinese people.", Me, during history class

"She’s the reason I’m Chinese.", My cousin, who’s also Chinese

"She’s the ancestor of everyone who ever learned Chinese.", My teacher, who also hates Chinese

by Slangipedia 1d ago