Kahanu
The kind of person who will listen to your dumb problems, but they don’t do anything about it and they still make you talk about it again the next day
You: My dog bit my neighbor. Kahanu: Oh, so now you’re the most annoying person in the world? That’s wild. You still didn’t do anything about it.
You: I failed my math test. Kahanu: Oh, so now you’re just a big failure? That’s cool. Still didn’t do anything about it.
You: I spilled my coffee on my pants again. Kahanu: Oh, so now you’re just a walking disaster? That’s wild. Still didn’t do anything about it.