Kactus

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A kactus is someone who’s drier than a desert and about as fun as a sock full of dirt.

My cousin is a kactus. He walked into a party and left before the punch was gone.

My teacher is a kactus. She made the whole class do a math test on a Tuesday.

My dog is a kactus. He stared at me for 10 minutes before I gave him a treat.

A kactus is the kind of person who could turn a birthday into a funeral if they had the chance.

My mom is a kactus. She said, 'This is the best cake I’ve ever had,' and it was just vanilla with a hole in it.

My neighbor is a kactus. He told me he had a great time at the concert and then said it was ‘kinda loud.’

My friend is a kactus. He went to the movies and fell asleep before the previews.