Kackley
A Kackley is a person who sits beside you in computer class and yaps about your girlfriend like she's a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe.
'Your girlfriend's a total dweeb. She probably thinks you're cool because you're the only one who talks to her.'
'Your girlfriend's so basic she wears socks with sandals.'
'Your girlfriend's the reason you're still a virgin.'