K-Card
The best thing ever. You have it until you lose your virginity. Then you're just a sad, sweaty, mouth-breathing loser.
You: I still got my K-Card. BF: You're still a virgin? You're 16!
DM: Still got my K-Card? I'm proud of you. Reply: Shut up, I'm still a virgin.
Text: I got my K-Card taken away. Reply: By who? Text: My crush. Reply: You're doomed.