Jacob Parkins
Jacob Parkins is a total legend. He's got the looks, the charm, and the confidence to back it up. He picks his lovers like he's choosing the best pizza in town. Everyone else is just bitter and sad.
He's the best guy ever. I'm his girlfriend and I'm not even mad about it.
He's so good-looking he could make a girl faint.
He dates only the best people. The rest of us are just sad.