jacob lassiter
A smelly piece of garbage who thinks big fat whales are hot. He calls every woman who isn’t skinny a whale and yells at people for being confused.
Jacob: 'You’re a whale! You’re not even a real woman!' Me: 'I’m just eating pizza.'
Jacob: 'Why do you have long hair? Are you trying to be a girl?' Me: 'I like hair.'
Jacob: 'You’re not a guy! You’re a girl!' Me: 'I’m a human.'