jacob burton

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Fake gangster who wears other peoples fake belts and thinks he can beat up security guards. Talks tough until you roast his cheap clothes.

Jacob: 'I’m gonna beat you up!' Me: 'You wear a fake belt and still got a 30% discount on your shirts.'

Jacob tries to fight me. I laugh and say, 'You’re still broke, bro.'

Jacob says he’s rich. I show him his receipt from the discount store.

Poser who wears fake designer belts and thinks he’s tough. He can’t even handle a real conversation about his trashy style.

Jacob: 'I’m the king of the school!' Me: 'You got a coupon for your jeans, bro.'

Jacob tries to flex. I post a photo of his receipt online.

Jacob says he’s rich. I send him a link to the discount store.

Wanna-be gangster who wears fake belts and thinks he can beat up security. He can’t even handle a joke about his broke-ass clothes.

Jacob: 'I’m gonna beat you up!' Me: 'You still got a 20% discount on your clothes, bro.'

Jacob tries to fight me. I laugh and show him his receipt.

Jacob says he’s tough. I tell him his belt is fake and bought on sale.