jackulator

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1
When your girlfriend is on her period and too lazy to suck your cock but promises to jerk you off later because she's too tired to do anything else.
My girlfriend said, 'I'll do it later, I'm too sore right now.' Later? I was in bed at 1 a. m. and she was still watching TikTok.
She said, 'I'll do it later, I swear.' Later turned into 2 a. m. and I was still hard.
She said, 'I'll do it later, I promise.' Later turned into her being asleep and my hand being the only one moving.
2
The intense feeling of being so blown away by something so big and awesome that you feel like you're about to cry and maybe vomit all over Jack Bauer.
When I saw Jack Bauer do 10 push-ups after being tortured for 2 hours, I almost cried and threw up.
Jack Bauer showed up in my room and I almost wet myself and passed out.
I saw Jack Bauer take down a terrorist and I cried and puked on my mom.
3
When you're getting jacked, or you think you're going to get jacked, or you're just being a total jackass.
I said, 'I'm going to get jacked later, I swear.' Later I was still in my pants.
I thought I was going to get jacked, but I just got a headache and a Coke.
I was being a total jackass and no one would jack me.
4
When something is just a mess of junk and nonsense, like your life when you're hungover and your mom is yelling.
My room looked like a junkyard after I threw up and my dog died.
My life was a mess of junk and nonsense after I failed math and got yelled at.
My morning was total nonsense after I drank 10 energy drinks and my dog died.
5
A jackal who uses a calculator to count random stuff and posts it on social media just to annoy Seth Mayers and make him cry.
Jackulator posted, '375 times I've used a calculator to count random stuff today.' Seth Mayers cried.
He said, 'I calculated 8743 times I hate life.' Seth Mayers lost his mind.
He posted, '2143 times I counted beans today.' Seth Mayers was in a mental hospital.
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