jackover

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a highschool principal who’s so lifeless and mean he’d rather give you a detention than let you live

Principal Thompson gave me a detention for wearing a hat. He said it was 'disruptive' and 'unprofessional', he probably wears socks with sandals.

He screamed at the lunch ladies for giving us extra ketchup. He’s like a grumpy old man who never got laid.

He’s so boring he made the gym teacher cry during gym class. The gym teacher now hates everyone.

when a Russian guy gets so turned on he goes full 'I’m gonna beat you up and you’ll thank me later'

He was eating a sandwich and then he got so turned on he threw the sandwich at the wall. The sandwich was still in love with him.

He was watching a video and then he turned into a Russian bear and roared at the screen.

He stared at a picture of a dog for ten minutes and then got a boner so hard he woke up the entire neighborhood.

when you and another person are so horny you talk on the phone and both of you jacked off at the same time like it was a group project

She said, 'I’m gonna go to sleep now' and then I jacked off and she jacked off and we both went to sleep at the same time.

He said, 'I’m gonna eat dinner' and we both jacked off while eating dinner and then we got fat.

She said, 'I love you' and then we both jacked off and said, 'I love you more' and then we both passed out.