I doused my boyfriend’s chest with Jack and said, 'This is the Titanic, and you’re the iceberg.' He laughed so hard, he spilled his drink.

At the bar, I poured Jack on my date’s chest and tried to row a spoon through her belly button like it was the Nile.

My sister poured Jack on my brother’s chest and made motorboat sounds so loud, the neighbors called the fire department.