jackmaballsack

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1
a big butt guy named jack who cries like a baby when his pizza gets cold
Jack: 'MY PIZZA IS HALF-COLD AND I'M DYING!'
Jack texted me: 'I can't handle this anymore. I'm going to cry in my soup.'
At the mall, Jack started sobbing because the escalator moved too fast.
2
jack is a giant man who thinks he's the main character of his own sad story
Jack: 'I'm the hero. You're just the sidekick. You don't even have a name.'
Jack posted: 'No one understands my pain. I'm stuck in this sad life.'
Jack yelled at the grocery store clerk: 'You're not even worthy of my presence!'
3
jack is a man so fat and emotional he could burst from crying and eating
Jack: 'I ate three pizzas and cried for an hour. I'm going to explode.'
Jack sent a DM: 'I'm 90% full and 100% sad. I'm dying.'
Jack fell over at the gym because he cried too much after his workout.
4
jack is a guy who yells about everything and thinks he's the king of the world
Jack: 'I'm the king of the world! You're just a peasant!'
Jack yelled at the traffic light: 'You're not even giving me a break!'
Jack screamed in the park: 'I'm the best at everything! You're all losers!'
5
jack is a man who cries, eats, and yells at everything like it's a personal attack
Jack: 'You're attacking my feelings and my pizza! I'm going to cry and eat!'
Jack texted: 'This is a personal attack. I'm going to cry and eat my feelings.'
Jack yelled at the sky: 'You're not even giving me a break! I'm going to eat and cry!'
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