jackjackjackjackjack

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To ramble nonstop about your new boyfriend like he’s the only man who ever lived, and everyone else is just a footnote in your story.

'He’s hot, he’s smart, he’s got a dog named Biscuit, and he knows how to fold laundry. The rest of you are just background characters.'

'I don’t even remember my ex’s name. It’s Jack. That’s it.'

'If he didn’t text me back in 2 minutes, I’d have cried. And I’m not exaggerating.'

To go on a never-ending rant about your new guy, making everyone else feel like they’re just there for the noise.

'I told you about Jack 17 times today. If I talk about him one more time, I’m going to scream.'

'He’s got a tattoo of a cat. I’m not even mad about it. I’m just impressed.'

'I don’t need a boyfriend. I need a boyfriend named Jack.'

To blab about your new boyfriend so much that you forget what you were talking about in the first place.

'I was talking about my cat, but then I remembered Jack told me he’s got a cat too. Now I’m talking about cats and Jack.'

'I don’t even know what I did today. I just know Jack texted me twice.'

'I said I’d stop talking about Jack. Then he sent a selfie. Now I’m back.'

To talk about your new guy like he’s the best thing since sliced bread, and everyone else is just a side dish.

'Jack is my main dish. The rest of you are just fries.'

'He’s got a job, a car, and a dog. You? You’re just a side note.'

'I don’t need a boyfriend. I need a boyfriend who’s perfect. That’s Jack.'

To go on a wild, profane, and never-ending speech about your new guy, making everyone else feel like they’re just there for the entertainment.

'Jack is the best guy. The rest of you are just failures. I don’t even know why I’m still talking about this.'

'He’s got a tattoo of a cat. You? You’re just a sad, tattoo-less human.'

'I talk about Jack so much I think I’m going to scream. And I’m not kidding.'