Jacking It to Jesus

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The taller your hair is, the more holy you are, but also the more annoying you are to everyone else.

My hair is so high it’s like I’m yelling at God.

She got her hair up so high it looked like she was about to punch the sky.

He had a hairdo so high it made the ceiling look like it was gonna fall over.

When your hair is so high it’s like Jesus is giving you a high-five from heaven.

Her hair was so high it could’ve knocked out a saint.

That kid’s hair was so high it made the angels jealous.

He had a hairdo so high it could’ve been a new religion.

Jacked Jesus is like Jesus but he’s shorter and he flexes so hard he can turn you into a pile of broken dreams.

He flexed so hard I felt like I was gonna turn into a taco.

That flex was so strong it made my mom cry.

He flexed so much my neighbor’s house fell over.

Trying to ride a ramp from hell to Alcatraz with a hairdo so high it’s like God is yelling at you.

He tried to jump from SF to Alcatraz with a hairdo that screamed ‘I’m not even trying.’

She used a ramp so bad it looked like it was built by a kid with no patience.

He tried to jump on a ramp with a hairdo so high it could’ve knocked out a dragon.