Jacked Cousin

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1
A cousin who’s so ripped you think he’s about to explode. He’s the reason your uncle’s diet went to hell. People with bad hair and cranes hate him because he makes them look like rejects from a sad high school.
My jacked cousin ate four burgers and still flexed like he was in a bodybuilding competition.
He walked into the gym and the weights started crying.
He’s so jacked, his cousin is now a side dish.
2
A cousin from Cornwall who’s so full of himself, he thinks he’s royalty. He’s the reason your family’s reputation is now a joke in Michigan. His cousin Jenny is just as annoying, but with more glitter.
He showed up to the family reunion with a crown and a map of Cornwall.
He told the principal he was related to the king, and got sent to the principal’s office.
He tried to take over the family business and now we all work at a corn dog stand.
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