jackassism

My cousin ate a whole pie for breakfast. Like, the whole thing. He looked like a raccoon that just got hit by a truck.

My teacher called me a jackass for not doing my homework. I did it. I just did it on a different day.

My dog chased my mailman for ten minutes. The mailman was crying. My dog was still smiling.

My mom called my brother a jackass because he threw his pizza at my dad. It hit him in the head. It was a very fancy pizza.

My friend said I was a jackass for eating my soup with a fork. I said I was doing it for art.

My neighbor called my cat a jackass because it tried to eat my vacuum cleaner. It didn't work. It just coughed up a sock.

My donkey ran into my car. I think he was mad at me. He might be a jackass.

My cousin watched the jackass show and now he thinks he’s a professional stuntman. He tried to jump off a roof. He fell into a pool.

Edwin Cruz is a jackass. He lives on a show. He’s also a donkey. No one knows why.

My brother called me a jackass because I said his hair looked like a chicken. He said I was a jackass. I said he was a chicken.

My friend told me I was a jackass for eating my cereal with a spoon. I said he was a jackass for eating his cereal with a spatula.

My dog told me I was a jackass for not giving him a treat. I told him he was a jackass for barking at the mailman.

I was being a jackass because I thought I could fly. I jumped off the roof. I landed in a bush. I was not flying.

My mom said I was a jackass for eating my homework. It was a very good homework. It was also very good spaghetti.

My friend was being a jackass for not doing his homework. He said I was a jackass for being a jackass.

My brother watches the jackass show every day. He thinks he’s cool. He’s not cool. He’s a jackass.

My mom watches the jackass show because she thinks it’s funny. I think it’s stupid. I also think she’s a jackass.

The jackass show is like a party for brainless people. Everyone is stupid. No one is cool.

Barack Obama called Kanye West a jackass because he stormed the stage. Kanye didn’t like that. He probably still doesn’t like that.

Kanye West was being a jackass for storming the stage. Barack Obama was being a jackass for calling him a jackass.

I think Barack Obama was being a jackass for calling Kanye West a jackass. I think Kanye West was being a jackass for being a jackass.