jackass quotient
The jackass quotient is how much someone is an idiot and still thinks they're the king of the world.
"Why did you leave me? I was the main character!", A text from Sam during a movie.
DM: "I got a D. You're the reason. I was too busy being awesome.", Logan, who got a D.
Text: "You said you'd help me with math. I waited. I even brought chips. You didn't.", Alex, who brought chips.