Jack Warden

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A legendary monster that snacks on orphan kids like they’re just another side of a burger.

My math teacher said Jack Warden ate my brother’s head last week. I believe her because she’s never wrong.

That new guy in class said he saw Jack Warden in the cafeteria. He ran out crying.

My mom said if I don’t do my homework, Jack Warden will come for me. I’m scared.

A towering son of a bitch who looks like he was pulled through a meat grinder and stretched on a rack.

That guy in the hallway looked like Jack Warden. I hid behind the lockers like a coward.

My dad said he saw Jack Warden at the mall. He was taller than the ceiling.

The principal said Jack Warden was coming to school today. I almost peed my pants.