jack rose

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A kid who thinks MUSE is the only band that matters and talks about them like they’re the president of the universe.

Just saw Jack Rose at the mall. He was yelling about MUSE like they were saving the world.

Jack Rose texted me: 'MUSE > you. Also, I’m never gonna stop saying that.'

At lunch, Jack Rose tried to convince the entire cafeteria that MUSE is the best band ever. They didn’t believe him.

The guy who thinks he’s the best and says MUSE is the greatest band ever. He’s right, but he doesn’t need to be so annoying about it.

Jack Rose showed up at my house and said, 'MUSE is the best, and you’re clearly not.'

Jack Rose called me at 2 a. m. to tell me about how amazing MUSE is. I hung up.

Jack Rose posted on Instagram: 'MUSE is the best. You are not. Also, I am.'

When your date goes out with you and then dies before you can even get a second date.

My date died right after we kissed. That was the worst date ever.

I asked my date to the movies, and she died before the credits rolled.

I went on a date with my crush, and he died halfway through the meal. I was sad.

When you poop and one piece floats like it’s trying to be cool, and the other sinks like it’s mad at life.

I took a shit and one turd floated, the other sank. It was a poop war.

My turd was like a movie. One character was floating, the other was sinking.

I sat on the toilet and watched my turd do a slow-motion float and sink. It was a masterpiece.

You act like you like someone, then you ditch them to throw a super expensive stone in the water because you’re a total poser.

I told my crush I liked her, then ditched her to throw a stone in the lake. She was mad.

I pretended I liked the guy, then ran off to throw a stone in the water. He didn’t believe me.

I said I was into her, but then I went to throw a stone in the lake. Total fakeout.