Jack-Rigged
When a person goes absolutely bonkers over securing stuff with locks, screws, or any sharp object they can find, just to make sure nothing gets stolen. It's like putting a lock on a lock and then telling the thief to go to hell.
My neighbor locked his shed with five locks and a chain. I tried to steal his lawn gnomes and got caught by a guard dog and a motion sensor.
This guy locked his camper with seven locks, a padlock, and a swear word. I couldn't even get in.
Jack-Rigged my house so tight, I had to use a crowbar and a middle finger to get in.